Friday, December 17, 2004
Kickin' Holiday The Bye Bye Bucket
Dear Blog Buddies,
A few Christmases ago, I felt my days were doomed 2 B lived out N my tiny room N a small local residential motel N town. It was newly bought & trashed by a baffled druggie wherein Water & Electric were frequently cancelled 'cause the guy forgot their bills were a reality. Not a bad drug trip vision.
My tiny alimony checks were never on time so I couldn't rent a real home & my art & writing & memories were stuffed N a local storage unit, the motel phones didn't work, I didn't have a Cell & my computer was N a coma ... great 4 me whose career is based N communication.
I was feasting on instant mashed potatoes as the food stamps ran out, plus the only jobs N town paid no salary as they were (& R) all taken by rich wives who just want something 2 do 2 aleviate boredom.
OK. So as I'm coiled up N bed watching another rerun of "It's A Wonderful Life" while hoping 2 avoid yet another sappy Hallmark TV Moment reminding me that I don't have a family 2 run home 2 embrace ... 2 teen boys who lived N the next door motel room with their drug dealing parents decided 2 have contest: Which one could fart out Jingle Bells the best.
I jumped outta bed & silently screamed: That's It! I want outta this Roach Motel & 2 go home 2 heaven! Now! I need a break!
Being an organized lady, I jumped outta bed & with bleary eyes I began writing my 2-Do list 4 my Departure. Then a BOLT struck!
I recalled living N 3 haunted places during my life. Ohoh!!!
I panicked thinking: if I die here, I do NOT want 2 haunt this dump 4 the next 2 centuries!
But where do I go 2 end/begin it all? & (being a fashioable me) What do I wear???
I thot "Lady Spirits N White" have been highly over done.
I wanted 2 wear red. Perhaps chiffon. A fitted top with a furled shirt, & definitely Manolo red heels.
I felt I positively HAD 2 get my hair & nails done as they'd have 2 last me a looooong time.
Then eternal pantihose & everlasting lip gloss & mascara.
OK! Costume done!
Next: where? Where do I end/begin it all???
Maybe the local beautifully landscaped country club N town?
Nah! 2 many snobs, gossips & golf addicts. Besides the food doesn't smell great enough 2 die 4 (literally).
Next, being a humanitarian, perhaps I should go 2 the local hospital, N my red chiffon, Manolo shoes, all gussied up, & end/begin it all on their doorstep with a note pinned 2 my dress saying: "Take my body parts, please"
Then I thot: 4get it! I don't want 2 haunt a hospital! I hate hospitals! It would B full of sick ghosts N backless gowns all mad 'cause they can't sue their doctors 4 malpractice.
Next? Aha! I'll buy a flight 2 Donald Trump's mansion club N Florida, Regis sure luvs it, & end it there! What better place 2 haunt? I might even meet up with a handsome tuxedo-ed guy ghost & dance the decades away!
OK. Sounds good. Style side taken care of!
Now, 4 my practical side: I must write my will & leave my storage 2 a couple friends. It held over 5,000 paintings, all my writing & sculpture & glam clothes & momentos.
But, I thot: they can't afford the storage fees!!!
Then I thot: Heck! I can't afford the storage fees 4 them either .... plus the red dress, the Manolo shooes, the hair-do, maicure, the flight 2 Florida .... etc.
Realizing I couldn't even afford 2 die N this rich, cheap small town, I crawled back N2 bed watched another rerun of Charlie Brown's Christmas ... & still wanted 2 throttle Lucy 4 being such a cartoon bitch... & silently sang:
All I Want 4 Christmas Is My Next Month's Rent & 4 me 2 have a Reason 2 B Living.
I then prayed 2 awaken & learn Y God still wants me here.
Sure my friends say they need me 4 my laughter, inspiration. creativity, luv & kindness ... but that's sure not a job op N the Help Wanted Columns or on Craigslist.Com.
But I'm still alive N this wacky small town, livin' N a sweet little rental & chattin' with U on the Net thanx 2 my Earth Angels, so I guess there is a reason 4 us all.
Tho, I still don't have a clue as 2 Y I is! (smiles)
MORAL: Even when we De-Earth it's still all about
Location, Location, Location!
2 B Continued
& There U go
krytiahn
A few Christmases ago, I felt my days were doomed 2 B lived out N my tiny room N a small local residential motel N town. It was newly bought & trashed by a baffled druggie wherein Water & Electric were frequently cancelled 'cause the guy forgot their bills were a reality. Not a bad drug trip vision.
My tiny alimony checks were never on time so I couldn't rent a real home & my art & writing & memories were stuffed N a local storage unit, the motel phones didn't work, I didn't have a Cell & my computer was N a coma ... great 4 me whose career is based N communication.
I was feasting on instant mashed potatoes as the food stamps ran out, plus the only jobs N town paid no salary as they were (& R) all taken by rich wives who just want something 2 do 2 aleviate boredom.
OK. So as I'm coiled up N bed watching another rerun of "It's A Wonderful Life" while hoping 2 avoid yet another sappy Hallmark TV Moment reminding me that I don't have a family 2 run home 2 embrace ... 2 teen boys who lived N the next door motel room with their drug dealing parents decided 2 have contest: Which one could fart out Jingle Bells the best.
I jumped outta bed & silently screamed: That's It! I want outta this Roach Motel & 2 go home 2 heaven! Now! I need a break!
Being an organized lady, I jumped outta bed & with bleary eyes I began writing my 2-Do list 4 my Departure. Then a BOLT struck!
I recalled living N 3 haunted places during my life. Ohoh!!!
I panicked thinking: if I die here, I do NOT want 2 haunt this dump 4 the next 2 centuries!
But where do I go 2 end/begin it all? & (being a fashioable me) What do I wear???
I thot "Lady Spirits N White" have been highly over done.
I wanted 2 wear red. Perhaps chiffon. A fitted top with a furled shirt, & definitely Manolo red heels.
I felt I positively HAD 2 get my hair & nails done as they'd have 2 last me a looooong time.
Then eternal pantihose & everlasting lip gloss & mascara.
OK! Costume done!
Next: where? Where do I end/begin it all???
Maybe the local beautifully landscaped country club N town?
Nah! 2 many snobs, gossips & golf addicts. Besides the food doesn't smell great enough 2 die 4 (literally).
Next, being a humanitarian, perhaps I should go 2 the local hospital, N my red chiffon, Manolo shoes, all gussied up, & end/begin it all on their doorstep with a note pinned 2 my dress saying: "Take my body parts, please"
Then I thot: 4get it! I don't want 2 haunt a hospital! I hate hospitals! It would B full of sick ghosts N backless gowns all mad 'cause they can't sue their doctors 4 malpractice.
Next? Aha! I'll buy a flight 2 Donald Trump's mansion club N Florida, Regis sure luvs it, & end it there! What better place 2 haunt? I might even meet up with a handsome tuxedo-ed guy ghost & dance the decades away!
OK. Sounds good. Style side taken care of!
Now, 4 my practical side: I must write my will & leave my storage 2 a couple friends. It held over 5,000 paintings, all my writing & sculpture & glam clothes & momentos.
But, I thot: they can't afford the storage fees!!!
Then I thot: Heck! I can't afford the storage fees 4 them either .... plus the red dress, the Manolo shooes, the hair-do, maicure, the flight 2 Florida .... etc.
Realizing I couldn't even afford 2 die N this rich, cheap small town, I crawled back N2 bed watched another rerun of Charlie Brown's Christmas ... & still wanted 2 throttle Lucy 4 being such a cartoon bitch... & silently sang:
All I Want 4 Christmas Is My Next Month's Rent & 4 me 2 have a Reason 2 B Living.
I then prayed 2 awaken & learn Y God still wants me here.
Sure my friends say they need me 4 my laughter, inspiration. creativity, luv & kindness ... but that's sure not a job op N the Help Wanted Columns or on Craigslist.Com.
But I'm still alive N this wacky small town, livin' N a sweet little rental & chattin' with U on the Net thanx 2 my Earth Angels, so I guess there is a reason 4 us all.
Tho, I still don't have a clue as 2 Y I is! (smiles)
MORAL: Even when we De-Earth it's still all about
Location, Location, Location!
2 B Continued
& There U go
krytiahn
